Disillusionment

It has come to my attention that pain, any type, has amazing effects on an individual's behavior. And I do not mean amazing in any positive way, in case you misunderstand. It cages the body, disillusions the mind, restricts the heart; and in the process, I believe the spirit of a person is lost, at least temporarily, because the pain essentially dictates one's life.

It is an extremely painful, pun intended, phenomenon to witness and the effects are devastating even to the viewer. If one breaks a leg, the pain is in that portion of the leg and maybe in surrounding regions. But this is not the kind of pain I am referring to. I'm talking about the kind of pain that is permanently engraved in your life. Whether it is a terminal illness like cancer, or a disease that took months or even years to fight off, it takes a toll.

I have a few friends that would fall under these different categories but I will only use two as examples so that your eyes don't feel too weary after reading this. For privacy's sake their names are Sue and Jan.

Sue was diagnosed with breast cancer a few months after having her first child. Her baby daughter was a bundle of joy, but Sue could barely smile knowing that sooner or later, she would never be able to hold her baby in her arms again. It was a devastating time for Sue and her family and friends, for every moment was spent coddling her daughter or crying on the chest of her husband, feeling as though the cancer was making her too weak to move on and enjoy the time left on Earth.

Jan’s story is quite different. At the age of 13 she began to have stabbing, aching, searing pain running through her arms and legs. Over time, the pain became increasingly worse, giving her stomach issues, heart issues, and even the daily migraine. With every doctor unsure about the cause of neither this tremendous problem nor an idea about how to treat it, Jan’s enthusiastic and fun-loving spirit started to wane. School was out of the picture 4 out of the 5 days, church was simply a place to go out of habit rather than need or desire to, and it became harder and harder to hang out with her friends.

In both cases, the friends and family of these two women saw a change not only in the ladies’ actions and behavior, but also in their personality and life-long goals. Obviously, when one is struck with this immense burden, one should come to the realization that the time left should be spent wisely and to the benefit of oneself. While it takes a different amount of time for each individual case to finally appreciate that, the people on the outside are feeling a different sort of pain – one that has no physical effects, but leaves emotional and spiritual scars.

Watching a loved one’s life deteriorate before their eyes is an experience I would wish on no one, and yet eventually we all come across it. Personally speaking, I can pray and help out as much as humanly possible and nothing happens. It’s as if the heavens have closed and my actions have no bearing on this person’s life.

So, I guess my question is: what next? What does one do, regardless of whether they are the one in pain or not, when all hope has vanished like the sun in the dead of night?