A lost soul, treading shallow waters
in search for his past life
It's missing
A renewed sense of reality
floating on oceans calming waves
she's searching for the memories
They don't exist
Cowardly stepping over the line
back to the darkness where only God can save him
letting hypocrisy run through his veins
and into his life
She won't stay to watch
Her heart's wish for him dies
as anger and hatred whisk through his eyes
a fleeting moment but long enough
a lost cause
There's no hope
They watch each other's actions
sensing the change, the immeasurable pain
to see darkness when all candles are lit
It's over
The bond between the two, shattered
the laughs and cries shared, blend into the static
a smile, a wave
vapor over an open casket
A fork in the road.
The last teardrop.
7.30.2009
7.28.2009
Resurfaced
Couple poems I wrote years ago and somehow apply today...
BLINDED
Boiling, grinding, shaking beneath the surface
Shrieks and cries pierce the night’s silent façade
A clear veil of a spider web’s thread shields the house
Locked inside with no way out…
Except the mask of bright colors that lives on each day
Forcing the light to shine on other’s faces
But the colors are fading and becoming hard to see
Fingers clawing against glass becomes the face
True features of a hidden episode begin to confirm
The insanity that roams those hearts and minds
Blinding the clarity once seen through perfect eyes
Happiness becomes blurred and distorted
Isolated within the confines of a broken home
Locked inside with no way out…
MY REFUSAL
It only takes one second to light a match and another to throw it into a field
Watch the flames grow and spread as though all the water in the world has disappeared
They consume everything in their paths, spawning new tragedies as they devour what good is left
It’s a circle of anger and frustration, tempers flaring, insults flying through the air
Hearts scorched and scarred for life plague the house thought to be His
A simple idea of love and care transformed into hate, evil
And Satan sits near by, cleansing his hands with our blood smiling maliciously to himself
“I have succeeded”
We allow this wickedness to win, belittling ourselves to mere mortals who have no knowledge of God
Rather than the temples we are, holding the Holy Spirit in our hearts and souls
How can I say, and be honest with myself first and foremost, that I am His child?
How can I view my home as a dwelling fit for Him to stay?
When in reality, the flames of hell are burning it down, melting the walls into puddles of ash and soot
When do the lies end? When does the hypocrisy cease to exist?
Only this I know, if it takes forever to break the cycle, then so be it
Because I can’t stand another day intently searching past fire only to find a smoky sky.
BLINDED
Boiling, grinding, shaking beneath the surface
Shrieks and cries pierce the night’s silent façade
A clear veil of a spider web’s thread shields the house
Locked inside with no way out…
Except the mask of bright colors that lives on each day
Forcing the light to shine on other’s faces
But the colors are fading and becoming hard to see
Fingers clawing against glass becomes the face
True features of a hidden episode begin to confirm
The insanity that roams those hearts and minds
Blinding the clarity once seen through perfect eyes
Happiness becomes blurred and distorted
Isolated within the confines of a broken home
Locked inside with no way out…
MY REFUSAL
It only takes one second to light a match and another to throw it into a field
Watch the flames grow and spread as though all the water in the world has disappeared
They consume everything in their paths, spawning new tragedies as they devour what good is left
It’s a circle of anger and frustration, tempers flaring, insults flying through the air
Hearts scorched and scarred for life plague the house thought to be His
A simple idea of love and care transformed into hate, evil
And Satan sits near by, cleansing his hands with our blood smiling maliciously to himself
“I have succeeded”
We allow this wickedness to win, belittling ourselves to mere mortals who have no knowledge of God
Rather than the temples we are, holding the Holy Spirit in our hearts and souls
How can I say, and be honest with myself first and foremost, that I am His child?
How can I view my home as a dwelling fit for Him to stay?
When in reality, the flames of hell are burning it down, melting the walls into puddles of ash and soot
When do the lies end? When does the hypocrisy cease to exist?
Only this I know, if it takes forever to break the cycle, then so be it
Because I can’t stand another day intently searching past fire only to find a smoky sky.
7.27.2009
No Expectations
It's one hell of an emotion, anger. Blood vessels become much more defined, eyes pop, the whole body trembles from the intensity, fingers curl into a fist... and then all of a sudden you're doing things you never intended to do. You hurt people's feelings, say things that you wouldn't generally say, and in the end, your heart's warm and soft sides become a little harder, a little colder.
So, out of respect for my darling friends and readers and others who just piss me off, this post is simply to vent without pointedly calling people up and tearing them apart.
The issue: people who seem reliable/dependable, and turn out to be a bunch of run-amok chickens/cowards.
Either stand up for what's right or back off, because in the end, you're simply hurting yourself and everyone around you, and it's not fair to those who thankfully do not live in your shoes.
And if you make a promise or commitment to something, follow through! This is the real world, people (I know, I'm starting to sound like my mom here) and if you continue down the path of stupidity, you will surely miss out on all of the good, smart things life has to offer...In addition to the fact that backing off tends to lead others into situations that are ten times more difficult than they had to be.
I know I bring this up a lot, but love is not a word just composed of letters that seem to make this nice short sound. It's a word that carries a heavy load -action, caring, sacrifice, commitment.
If you love your job, you put your all into that job, into all of the details that make up the final project. If you love your friend or spouse, you do all that you can to continue in your friendship or marriage, to make it fruitful and make the other one happy. If you love your church, you do all that you can to help others, serving the Master.
None of this is easy. You will feel as though you are being spread too thin. You will feel as though the world is falling on your shoulders and your neck and back are too weak to handle the weight. You will feel like everything possible that could be set against you, is right there, blocking the light.
But in the end, the reward, the light, overcomes the frustration and the ill-minded thoughts or obstacles. In the end, it all matters and comes together like a puzzle with intricate pieces because of your love and dedication and God's help.
This isn't a joke. This isn't something to merely push to one side as though others will simply take care of things you have, so kindly, left behind.
No expectations. Expect everything of yourself with God's help, and nothing of others, and in the end, it WILL all be good.
So, out of respect for my darling friends and readers and others who just piss me off, this post is simply to vent without pointedly calling people up and tearing them apart.
The issue: people who seem reliable/dependable, and turn out to be a bunch of run-amok chickens/cowards.
Either stand up for what's right or back off, because in the end, you're simply hurting yourself and everyone around you, and it's not fair to those who thankfully do not live in your shoes.
And if you make a promise or commitment to something, follow through! This is the real world, people (I know, I'm starting to sound like my mom here) and if you continue down the path of stupidity, you will surely miss out on all of the good, smart things life has to offer...In addition to the fact that backing off tends to lead others into situations that are ten times more difficult than they had to be.
I know I bring this up a lot, but love is not a word just composed of letters that seem to make this nice short sound. It's a word that carries a heavy load -action, caring, sacrifice, commitment.
If you love your job, you put your all into that job, into all of the details that make up the final project. If you love your friend or spouse, you do all that you can to continue in your friendship or marriage, to make it fruitful and make the other one happy. If you love your church, you do all that you can to help others, serving the Master.
None of this is easy. You will feel as though you are being spread too thin. You will feel as though the world is falling on your shoulders and your neck and back are too weak to handle the weight. You will feel like everything possible that could be set against you, is right there, blocking the light.
But in the end, the reward, the light, overcomes the frustration and the ill-minded thoughts or obstacles. In the end, it all matters and comes together like a puzzle with intricate pieces because of your love and dedication and God's help.
This isn't a joke. This isn't something to merely push to one side as though others will simply take care of things you have, so kindly, left behind.
No expectations. Expect everything of yourself with God's help, and nothing of others, and in the end, it WILL all be good.
7.20.2009
Me Published...
Not exactly byline but I wrote it! :)
http://www.statenet.com/capitol_journal/07-20-2009/html#birds_eye_view
http://www.statenet.com/capitol_journal/07-20-2009/html#birds_eye_view
7.05.2009
Echoes of Silence
I sit in the silence of days passed
Memories haunting my dreams
And then coming to life
I watched in sorrow as you walked away
Tears flowing down my cheeks
I knew what was happening
The anger and frustration and stress
Built up, into a mountain with a steep side
I could’ve stopped it, I could’ve helped
I said things to you, did things to you
Things I will forever remember,
Forever regret
I pushed you away
Forcibly and without reproach
Caught up in my own mind, my own ways
And when it came down to seeing the darkness
I denied it was black, defended the wrong
And lost myself in the process
Consequences are endless in the face of the world
But in the face of a loved one
Could be detrimental or forgivable
I wait in the silence of days passed
Anxiously and patiently, for your return
Just to reaffirm the latter
So I can stop running, and breathe.
Memories haunting my dreams
And then coming to life
I watched in sorrow as you walked away
Tears flowing down my cheeks
I knew what was happening
The anger and frustration and stress
Built up, into a mountain with a steep side
I could’ve stopped it, I could’ve helped
I said things to you, did things to you
Things I will forever remember,
Forever regret
I pushed you away
Forcibly and without reproach
Caught up in my own mind, my own ways
And when it came down to seeing the darkness
I denied it was black, defended the wrong
And lost myself in the process
Consequences are endless in the face of the world
But in the face of a loved one
Could be detrimental or forgivable
I wait in the silence of days passed
Anxiously and patiently, for your return
Just to reaffirm the latter
So I can stop running, and breathe.
7.03.2009
Infinitely Minute
Years and years of steady growth
Singled - out moments that speak the world
Shorter space and decreasing time
Look forward, look back
The weeks have flown by in earnest exploration
Answers and truths, mysteries unraveled, secret codes revealed
Crystalized foundations, ready to break
and flexible sheets, unreasonably strong
The days have slowed down to show
the words and minutes disguised
Approached and reproached for reasons unclear
the risks of loss so prevalent in fear
The minutes zoom away with eternity at hand
A short pathway forward, a quick side-glance back
And a wall falls in front and behind with no space in between
climb or drop to find the crystal of life clearly obscene
Singled - out moments that speak the world
Shorter space and decreasing time
Look forward, look back
The weeks have flown by in earnest exploration
Answers and truths, mysteries unraveled, secret codes revealed
Crystalized foundations, ready to break
and flexible sheets, unreasonably strong
The days have slowed down to show
the words and minutes disguised
Approached and reproached for reasons unclear
the risks of loss so prevalent in fear
The minutes zoom away with eternity at hand
A short pathway forward, a quick side-glance back
And a wall falls in front and behind with no space in between
climb or drop to find the crystal of life clearly obscene
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)